I really wish I could find the logic in the fact that uncertainty causes me so much stress. Wondering if any other autistics explored this for themselves? Or read about it anywhere?
When I think through those uncertain situations I can see that everything is fine on a so-called “logic” level. But that’s not what is happening within me. Instead, my mind and body are stressed until there’s at least MORE certainty.
I’m just starting to realise how much impact even very low levels of stress from uncertainty brings. It’s influencing decisions I make and may be changing my life in little ways I don’t actually want. I’m not against certainty at all, we all absolutely need it to be healthy, but these occasions of uncertainty seem to be so trivial (e.g. do I move from this room to the next room?).
What am I missing? What is it about the autistic brain that finds uncertainty so challenging? (Bearing in mind I’m AuDHD so of course there’s plenty of contradiction! 🤣)
My goal is to understand it better so I can at least make better decisions, support myself better. While it’s an enigma, I don’t feel I’m able to help myself very much at all.
Has anyone written about this? Any research on it?
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StarkRG
in reply to JB 🐎 :neuro: • • •For me anyway (just anecdotal, no research) it's because I have to anticipate what's coming next in order to prepare for it. If I have an appointment, I *need* to know about it at least the night before or I'm going to consider cancelling it (and if it's something I can't cancel for whatever reason, my anxiety will skyrocket).
I don't need certainty, but narrowing down the possible outcomes to have a plan for them all is necessary.
StarkRG
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JB 🐎 :neuro:
in reply to StarkRG • • •@StarkRG I’m so with you on all of this! Thank you! Yes, general plans are soooo much better than none at all.
If the uncertainty about which situation is coming up goes on long enough to eat into available time to prepare, then this absolutely makes sense. We’re literally not able to prepare for some situations beyond a point in time. Uncertainty like this doesn’t just mean ‘surprise’ situations at the end of it, but also surprise negative consequences (that we may also not have had a chance to prepare for). If there are loads of possibilities within that uncertainty then it can be much more overwhelming to think through a decision tree for each one. If there are just 2 possible situations, that’s usually WAY easier to think about.
I wonder if this is all about cognitive load, getting overwhelmed by all the decisions and preparations required, and potentially needing to prepare for many possibilities at once, which complicates things and creates its own additional problems to solve.
I’m now wondering if my subconscious is actually doing mini calculations like this even in so-called trivial situations. Maybe moving from one room to the next has really had an impact on events that followed. Especially if I’ve totally forgotten what’s coming up in my day, which is always! Forgetting = many, many possibilities.
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Shubheksha
in reply to JB 🐎 :neuro: • • •I don’t have answers but as someone in a similar boat, I 100% empathise with you. I’m AuDHD but uncertainty in some aspects of my life really rattles me.
Like you’ve identified, I know that it’s not world-ending rationally but there seems to be a disconnect between my brain and my body. That’s kinda how I’ve come to understand it at least. I can’t “convince” my body what my brain seems to know if that makes any sense??
It’s so so so hard sometimes. 💖
JB 🐎 :neuro:
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Brain Pilgrim
in reply to Shubheksha • • •@ScribblingOn
I was constantly told no matter what I did it wasn't "right," in some way they couldn't explain.
I could not conform to the minute levels of conformity, esp for women, that my society wanted.
I was able to move a thousand miles away and settle into a different one. Had I stayed I would have battled that sense of inadequacy every single waking moment.
That's where mine comes from.
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Earthy in EV heaven
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JB 🐎 :neuro:
in reply to Earthy in EV heaven • • •@earthmothering9 This is definitely part of it. It can help for me to think through the steps ahead and imagine them, as best I can. It’s a bit like the story boards that help autistic children, but I’m doing it for myself in my mind.
It feels like there’s more to it though. Something that creates a paralysis. It’s like I can sense there may be potential consequences ahead, but without a conscious understanding or knowing of what they are.
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breaking ranks
in reply to JB 🐎 :neuro: • • •I could imagine that this is connected to the ADHD part of the thinking. With ADHD and the very low executive functioning, ADHD paralysis is a thing - that maybe fits here too, adding on the autistic urge to plan ahead. If you're stuck in your mind because the thing/action is too big for you to handle OR it's a plan/scheme whose execution is not fully depending on/known by you, ADHD paralysis kicks in, hindering you from getting to any planning
@earthmothering9 @actuallyautistic
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nate tbh :yippee:
in reply to JB 🐎 :neuro: • • •dyani 🫠
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anomalon :gi:
in reply to JB 🐎 :neuro: • • •My thinking does a thing I call branching or forking. My cognitive energy takes the information I have and processes it against known things, rushing forward into mental models of distinct future scenarios. Known variables create the specific potentiality pools that I start mapping in advance. The greater the ratio of known to unknown, the fewer the forks, I can then investigate those models in greater detail and troubleshoot and feel prepared.
When there are too many unknowns, or the unknowns are wildly distanced from one another, my nervous system operates in a vigilant improv mode, which of course I try to prepare for anyhow, in exhausting futility.
My cognition has a strong native flow, but when things are too open-ended, infinitely forking, or incomprehensible, it will deplete so utterly and I'm left very tired and very confused and ill-equipped to bring my best focus to even known things.
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Kevin Davy
in reply to JB 🐎 :neuro: • • •It removes a sense of safety and control, in an already unsafe world. Presents too many possibilities, which essentially leaves us without anyway of choosing. Makes transitioning from task to task almost impossible because we don't have the structure in place to do it.
Having ar least some sense of what's coming in advance allows us to work out structures and processes to deal with it. It gives us a starting point for acting and a path to follow.
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MrBerard 😎👉👉
in reply to JB 🐎 :neuro: • • •ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
Bernie Does It For Harris
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Rabbit for Harris
in reply to JB 🐎 :neuro: • • •often I carry an excess of uncertainty, hesitation, dithering .. camouflaged by verbal skills.
Frequently, I drive with multiple destinations, collapsing those possibles at a stoplight.
Helpful are 'structure' and rules that I am willing to respect. Commitments are helpful. Committing to speaking engagements (Toastmasters club) taught me so much about self motivation.
Commitments support experiential learning .. which flushes out hesitation and dithering.
#selfconfidence
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Lucas 🦣
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mike6ixgolf
Unknown parent • •@Lucas 💾🦉♾️🌹 @ActuallyAutistic group @JB 🐎 :neuro:
If you switch over to a #friendica instance, you will not have the 500 character limit #mastodon has. So you will be free to post unlimited character toots. #fediverse #autism
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Mind Shambles
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Brain Pilgrim
in reply to JB 🐎 :neuro: • • •Uncertainty acknowledges a lack of control. But then, as the Tao teaches, “control is an illusion.” I only control me, and my reactions. And then, not always!
Also absolves me of any responsiblity. Not my fault. I will do my best to influence it for the better. That’s my only obligation.
I think it’s a legacy of constant expectations we can’t meet and don’t make any sense. That was my entire childhood.
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Alexis Bushnell
in reply to JB 🐎 :neuro: • • •I struggle hugely with uncertainty but I believe my issue with it comes from trauma. I grew up in a home where I never knew how my mother would behave, what her reaction would be to me, etc.
Maybe it is compounded by Autism which I believe affects the nervous system too but I think for me the primary issue is trauma and a completely fried nervous system because of it.
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